There is a funny thing that happens when you are approaching a milestone achievement, something like graduation or your first real job. (Some people think this way about finding a partner, or moving out, or losing an arbitrary amount of weight, or whatever.)
Somehow you imagine that once you Do The Thing, all the messy part is going to be over with.
Those readers who are smiling know how this really works.
I had such plans for this summer, after graduation. There was going to be art! and gardening! and finally putting the house into some semblance of order! and FINISHING ALL THE PROJECTS!
You can imagine exactly how this played out.
And it is now September Again, the August humidity tattering on the first breath of cooler, drier autumn air; the sun still warm against the windows; the grass in the flowerbeds long gone to seed; the maples once again blushing at the first coy suggestion of fall to come. There will be apples soon, then pumpkin, then the cleaning of the garden, then frost on the windowpanes and studded tires on the car.
And some time after winter, it will be spring again, then summer, and the odds are that I will STILL have wall-to-wall piles of books and unfinished projects in every corner.
I am learning, slowly. I am learning that my need for spaciousness and silence runs counter to my partner’s need for busyness and order. He is uneasy when the days are not filled with doing; I yearn for those precious windows of opportunity to just be, to soak up the stillness and absorb any given moment of nothing in particular.
It is September Again.