Delayed reaction

By the time this post appears, the June edition of the church newsletter should have been emailed, and somewhere on one of the deeply buried pages the following announcement should be appearing:

A note to the community:

It has been generally known this year that I am stepping down this spring after four years as chair of the Music Committee. While I will greatly miss doing the work of this church, it is time for me to step back from active leadership here. After intense personal reflection it has become clear to me that my work lies elsewhere. I’m going to seminary. I will begin classes at Meadville-Lombard Theological School this fall. The nature of my degree program is such that I will be present here, at least for the coming year, but I must let go of major leadership responsibilities in this congregation in order to give proper attention to my studies. I look forward to sharing this part of the journey with you; this is an amazing community to belong to, and when the time comes, it will be an amazing community to be from. Thank you all. — Claire

Why is it so hard for me to write these things? Why do I so strongly resist owning this identity in public? Or, perhaps, why do I so deeply fear that it will be torn away if I dare to do so? This is not healthy or useful and I need to get over it, or heal whatever hurt it comes from… but I haven’t figured out how to do that yet.

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