The long road and the unexpected journey

When I set up this blog (two years ago? No, apparently last spring…) I had every intention of getting into local political blogging. That obviously didn’t happen. Probably in large part because, well, local politics just doesn’t capture my imagination except when it’s full of egregious stupidity, or when it touches something deeper. But all too often it’s the same ineffective petty bickering punctuated by empty victories and crushing defeats, and I’ve nothing useful to say about it.

Summer has been and gone in central Maine and I was not of much a mind to notice it – too busy, work and church ate my life, and suddenly it was not April any more and September was over and where did the time go?

I’ve spent a lot of that time in my own head – I turned 39 this year, and have worked out, upon reflection, that while I’ve ended up with the house and the spouse and the full time day job with good insurance, I’m not sure this is what I wanted. (Except the spouse. I’m kind of fond of the spouse, snoring and all.)

I’ve spent the last twentyish years doing clerical work in the service sector, and dangling from the end of a long chain of things I did not expect to happen, it has become apparent that I’ve got those adjectives in the wrong order. Always did approach things bassackward and in my own time.

So I am sitting quietly with the strange, amazing, unexpected, terrifying and bewildering idea of quitting my job, going to seminary, and entering the ministry. After three months of as much contemplation as I have been able to wedge in, I have not managed to shake this crazy notion. Madness! And yet there is that in the universe which calls me to its work: to love the world, the whole damn broken world; to mend it as I can and bear witness to what I can’t; to speak the truth as it must be spoken; and to strive toward both justice and mercy, for they are incomplete without each other. This is my work.

It hit me like a mack truck this summer, and I’m still reeling.

I’m really not at all sure how this is going to go, or where I’m going to end up.

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